Weeks spent in a fog of anger. Thinking of all the books bought and read, the endless ponderings and pontifications, the conference time and money spent, check that Elijah List!, sign up for that ministry trip with “the firestarter.” Oh, the dreams and visions carefully recorded and dissected, the gifts and callings, the hearing this and sensing that, the Great Big Hamster Wheel of Do and Do in the name of The New Thing.
And where was Jesus in that pile of Do?
My head ached as if in a vice.
I read blogs, became horrified, and wondered: Did I need deliverance?
So, I cried out to the Lord from the bottom of my pit. And He heard my cry.
Suddenly one Tuesday evening, cooking dinner, listening to—glory be! secular music—the fog and anger lifted. Joy slammed me upside the head, and I thought: What is this?
Nothing’s clawing my back, trying to drag me into darkness. Nothing’s weighing me down. I’m free!
Life bubbled forth. Alive! Alive forevermore!
To be continued….
Thanks M’kayla! Thanks all you bloggers. Thanks WOF no more! Thanks be to God who gives us the victory through Jesus Christ our Lord!
The Agony of Victory 
My dear, it is as you said- it was not me, but the Lord. How facinatingly powerful, loving and kind He is to those of us who have strayed and then found our way back to His truth.
Blessings always. 🙂